IT SAVED

So im writing to you in kind of a drunken splerr but its something that id like a few to know and not all facebook. I find writing helps me cope with my emotions.

I often think that I know myself and who I am, and how strong and capable I am, but then there are many a time that find myself thinking, who am I really?? I have no idea. There are days where I feel so incredibly strong and there are weeks where I feel terrible. I'm thinking to myself what make me mad and upset. Lately I've found it is people that have the things that I want and they do not respect nor cherish them. There are two big things I want in my life, and I know that I would do everything to keep them. But I know that there are also people that have and had them and just act like they didn't mean anything. I think that I am farr to critical to myself. I need to start realizing that I am fine who I am. I do make mistakes and I really get upset with myself that I do. I feel that I can work hard and I shouln't make mistakes. I mean, they doo happen but things I can avoid shouldn't happen. I've got pretty amazing oppourtunities ahead of me but there are things that hold me back. I do owe a lot of money I have, for the most part, put a lot of bills to the side. I felt, though, after I broke up with my ex I needed to spend money on myself. Buying things for myself to make me feel good about how I looked felt really nice. I don't get in trouble for it. I am treated like I am the most important and wonderful person there is. I sure couldnt ask for more!!! When I feel upset or down about myself, I just think about the most amazing person thats came into my life and it turns things around. The best thing is when I tell him I'm feeling ugly, or insecure, or unimportant, he instaltly tries to make me feel the opposite. How could anyone ask for anything more. I swear he's the one. The single person I have always wanted in life. Something special.